Back to Lizzy in the studio ............... 

And what would your opinion be on that topic ? 

Well , mmoo moo mooooo . 

Good afternoon , I'm Bob for Cat Nework News and I'd like to ask you a few questions about the current state of agricultual policy in the global context . 

Hi Bob here for CatNetwork News reporting from the field. 

My boxing day fishing trip goes horribly wrong ................................ 

Whoops caught in the act of wrapping myself up ................ 

Here I am assisting with the Christmas present wrapping  

Bobs Christmas wild cat food carol

Hello Bob here for the Dairy Flat Tabenacle Choir (to the tune of a partridge in a pear tree)

ten night time outings
nine falling leaves
eight fleas a jumping
seven flys a fly'n
six spiders running
fiiiiiiiiiiiiive croaking frogs
four pond fish
three nasty Mynas
twoooo dead mice
and
a half eaten .........bunnnneeeee


now repeat

Bob and Lizzy get trapped in the car......overnight

Hello Bob from Cat Network News

Here is a question for Chris , when are you going to get those air-stays on the tailgate of the lift-back fixed ?
Yesterday we jumped into the boot (trunk) of the car when Reena was emptying out the shopping then next thing the tail-gate is slowly closing and we are trapped, help help . But no help came.
So we spent the night ripping up the upholstery , shredding the vinyl and waiting for rescue which came at dawn when they realised that calling from the front door was not going to work on this occasion . (Just as well because we were really dying for a pee !)

Bob , back where I belong, inside , on the printer and soon to be asleep.

Only two sleeps till I have my first Christmas...

Bobs reply to americanfox.

Hi Bob replying to the question from americanfox .

And the question was :
"How do you feel about the fact that nativity scenes never include the feline sort? Donkeys, sheep, cattle, horses...surely the smartest animal of them all was at the most important event of all time. Any thoughts?"

Well I feel pretty bad because if you read the literature , you did know cats can read, why else would they sit on your newspaper, duh, cats have been around for a lot longer than the nativity.

Also as indicated in the recent documentary "Love Actually" there was not just one but two lobsters there so why not cats .

Maybe there was a cat sleeping under the covers ? Could be a strong possibility.

Bob

Bobs lead-up to Christmas

Good morning Bob here
Well I've been let out of the locked cupboard finally, some cat and it was supposed to be me knocked Chris's model sailing boat off the top of the book case. He says it took him a year to build but it can't have been that well made given how it smashed into a thousand pieces after a mere 8 foot plummet ? I ask you what's all the fuss ?

Anyway only four sleeps till Christmas, we have got Reena presents but Chris will need to be a little more conciliatory I can tell you !!
We are making up a Christmas carol , watch this space. May have to be nice to Chris so we can get some Christmas pictures .

Bob for the Christmas channel.

Coming soon

Bob here for the Christmas channel at Cat Network News.

Just advance warning to keep an eye open for my "Countdown to Christmas feature"
We'll consider topics such as "Is a whole turkey too much for one cat ?" "Ten ways to wrap a live bunny " and "Five ways to look cool at the top of the Christmas tree".

Bob

And what better way to spend the rest of the day after a nine hour snooze than a bit of relaxing on the lawn! 

Here I am at 4.45pm see I've turned over ..... 

Me sleeping (again) somebody said I looked like a barrel on sticks , whats a barrel ?  

Here I am sleeping on Chris's printer zzzzzzzzzzzzzz twitch twitch zzzzzzzzzzzzzz 

My typical Monday by Bob

1. I woke at 5am , what idiot set the alarm ?
2. 5.30am examined food bowl, unimpressed
3. 6.00am morning constitutional
4. 6.30am caught mouse and ate
5. 7am ate cat biscuits
6. 7.30 went for a stroll
7. 8.00am Chris working at home today , cool
8. 8.30am went to sleep on Chris's printer (see photo)
9. 3.30pm still sleeping on printer....

to be continued ....

Bob decides book review too commercial

Good morning
Bob here after an exhausting weekend of visitors, how much attention can one cat endure ? (Well a lot !!)
I decided to take my book review off because it sounded a bit commercial and thats not were we are at here at Cat Network News .

Not that I won't be mentioning a few things that might , possibly look oh so good in the Christmas stocking , only 43 shopping days to go....
Bob signing off..mmm I can taste that Christmas turkey already .

Who us ? No that was some other cat you saw wrestling , honest . 

Here is me showing Lizzy who is boss, well I will in a minute ........ 

I can't explain it but there is something about this that appeals to my arty side !!!

Here we are wildly celebrating Chris's bithday. 

Here I am attempting to get the fish by drinking the pond dry, Lizzy says that will take me 300 years but for 15 fish, I think its worth the wait. 

Bobs reply to Mia.

Mia ,
What to do when you go on holiday ?
Well obviously from my point of view if Chris never left the house would be my preferred option , although I guess that one of us , unless they developed a taste for mice, would starve to death.
Option two is only leaving home for short trips to the supermarket, option three is going for longer trips to get the money to pay for the trips to the supermarket, option four is get a cat friendly person to house and cat sit, option five is get a friend or neighbour to come and feed us and the last option is to take us to a good quality cat boarding place. Ask your cat owning friends in the neigbourhood what they think of the local ones .
We can be left overnight if we have food and water and a cat washroom.
essentially I prefer to be at home and have people come to me, but Chris says Grandma and Grandpa took their many Siamese cats to the same cat boarding place for many years so I guess the trick would be finding the right one.

Note, over here you need to have all your cat vaccinations up-to-date before any cat boarding place will take you.
Bob

Bob retires as chef

Good afternoon Bob here, it seems my days as a chef are over , even with my wide range of cooking skills and foods, spiders, fly’s and gravy just somehow don’t cut it in the modern world.

I have decided to concentrate on art and I’ve titled my first work “101 ways with fur” which I hope to show Reena when she comes home on Monday. Finally we will get proper care and attention and not this bachelor life.

Lizzy and I have found the only muddy part of the garden and are making sure that we leave nice foot prints on the new deck.

Grandma and grandpa arrive today, we haven’t met yet but anticipate they will be putty in our hands.

Oh yes all the Canadian cat got homes, phew its getting cold there 3degree C high today in Redeer, it is 18here

Bob , off to tidy my bed to impress grandma

Bob discusses gravy.

Good afternoon Bob here after a bit of a break .

I’d like today to introduce you to one of the great staples of the cat diet, gravy.

For any of you cats out there who can’t make gravy here is the recipe for my personal favourite, Turkey gravy.

You need the pan from the oven that the turkey was cooked in plus all that stuff that sticks when it cooks and the liquid , boiling water , white flour, sweet soy sauce and that’s it . Repeat after me lumps are good , lumps are good.
Method
Put pan on stove top and heat it till the water has evaporated , stirring all the time , you should be left with ummy turkey fat and meaty bits , add enough flour to just absorb the fat, now cook for at least a minute and try to get some colour into the flour, keep stirring , black is bad, brown is good. Add some soya more for darker sweeter less for pale, keep stirring, now comes the tricky bit adding the boiling water , slowly a bit at a time , if you add too much (or cold water) you get flour lump city , we want the lumps to only be meaty lumps. Keep adding water and cooking till you get it a thickness that you like.
I find I can keep left over cold stuff in the fridge and heat it in microwave with a bit of extra water.
Gravy goes well with everything especially whole chickens or you can just have it as a snack.
Some tinned food makers say they sell “real meat with gravy” , but frankly compared to the real thing it sucks, trust me.
This is Bob heading for the kitchen , feeling hungry .

Food part four by Bob

Good morning Bob here with part four of my adventures in food.

In honour of our weekend catch , a nice juicy lizard I think it might be appropriate to move into the 100% free range organic reptilian department .

More on that lizard, well we found it in the garden and brought it into the bedroom (as usual) , for one moment it was there next whisked out side and stuck in a tree we couldn’t climb by Chris. By the way are their tails supposed to come off?

The other day we got a frog and I think I might have already discussed this in a prior post, we haven’t found anymore of those but I’d swear I heard one croaking the other night. Just a matter of time....

By the way on Friday night I stole some chicken curry off the bench , just a mild butter chicken, but I can unfortunately report the 1am hallway projectile regurgitation , oh yuk .

This is Bob signing out for Monday morning , I feel a snooze coming on ..zzzzzzzzzzzz yawn

Bob on Food part three

Good evening
Bob here from Cat Network News. Tonight part three of my series on what cats eat and its time to explore dry food.

Dry cat food covers everything from those tasty little snacks that frankly I'd do a cartwheel for that come from the pet shop to bread (off the bird table) and on to cat biscuits .

Let me tell you not all cat biscuits are created equal , no sir, right now we are off those ones for "kittens" , the insult !!!! But we are into Science Diet "with real ocean fish" (adult) , Chris says that to reinforce that this is NOT a sponsored site I should say that it is Science Diet Kitten that we won't eat !! We understand there are many varieties out there and we intend to try them all.
Dry food isn't on a scale of 1 to 10 that exciting but it does fill the gap between more interesting stuff that we haven't yet discussed here .

I nifty trick I have worked out is that if you are seen looking really pathetic chewing on some stale bread (which actually isn't that bad to eat) you almost always get invited into the kitchen for something guaranteed to plaster the lard on those hips.

Handy places to find dried bread are , the bird table , down the back of the sofa, off the bench , the compost bin (if you are lucky enough to have one) or what the heck just take lunge at the toast somebody is eating.

This is Bob signing out on Wednesday night

Part two of Bob on food

Good Sunday morning Bob here again with part two of our gastronomic feature , today lets explore insects and arachnids.

These represent both fun and that little morsel of protein .

Flys are a big favorite of mine as I get to practice that special yakyakakayak cat noise reserved for fly's and passing birds.
Fly's also present an opportunity to demolish half the house while Chris yells, "get it get it" ignoring the flying ornaments ! .
I have found hanging about near the big lounge window on sunny day a sure place to sneak up on something that starts with a chase and ends with a lip smacking crunch.

Spiders on the other hand can be fun to chase but I find their ability to walk upside down on the roof something if a challenge when stalking , so far half way up the wall paper is all I can manage. There isn't much to a spider so don't bother eating them , well not the ones around here.

Mia , don't let me put you off the low-lactose milk, I'm a firm believer in trying everything once, that would be why I chewed the corner off a raisin bun yesterday.

This is Bob for the Food department at Cat Network News.

Bob discusses food

Good afternoon Bob here from Cat Network News (with help from my web surf)

Today I'm going to begin my exploration of Cat Cuisine and I'm also going to give some tips on how you can have fun with food including how best to chase some of it around the house or yard.

But today we are going to dive right into the gourmet department and head for the dairy section of the fridge.

The dairy section contains milk and yoghurt and firm stuff like cheese.
I'm told that pure milk is bad for cats and but Chris says that Doris and Ethel both lived to ripe old ages drinking it cut with warm water. I'll pass judgment on that when I get to try it but I can assure you that special low lactose cat milk sucks , you can keep that stuff right in the packet.

Cheese on the other hand, now that is cat food. For myself I prefer cheddar, cut into chunks that don't slide all over the lino and which you can get your teeth into. No wafer thin slices please. I quite like that soft white stuff too, Camembert works for me.

An important point is if somebody tries to hide another worm pill in cheese so help me I'm going to vomit on the sofa.

Well this is me signing off until next time on our gastronomic adventure.

Bob , the Cat du jour

My favorite shot, me the jungle cat...
 

Here is Lizzy caught in the act of plant bashing  

Here I am up the cabbage tree again ...weeee harr 

Our wekened by Bob

helelo Bob here i hvae to do tihs mylsef beuacse my web hepler Chris is bsuy wokring on the dcek agian so sorry abuot the dyslexia (i hvae taht wrtiten down).

We had a geart wekened and i am gonig to put some picrutes up for you to see.

I was pratcicing my wild anamil act and got caguht in the act lokoing espaicelly mad. Also did a bit of tree clmibing .

Lizzy got caguht jupming in the plnat Chris biult the deck arnoud .

Aparenptly and this is only rumor one of us knokced over a jar in the gargae while chasing a fly on the wokrbench and spileld a brush with wihte piant and turps all over the wododen diretcors chairs .
I hope you like the pcitures.

Bob (hrad to get that wrnog )

Tara with friends 

From our foreign correspondent

"Foreign correspondent, Reena, has sent through this picture showing the beautiful Tara playing host to two humans in costume at a Jane Austen Festival in Bath, England.
Tara and her sister Nellie (camera shy) live in an 1820's town house where a 'Soup to Syllabub' period lunch was held.
Tara and Nellie are 12 years old, and live with their humans Peter and Jane.
In the photo Tara is showing off Peter and Jane's curious arrangement of eating utensils from the early 1800's.
Tara would like to point out that while there are many mentions of dogs in Jane Austen's novels, there is a sorry lack of cats. A sorry sorry omission indeed!"

Bob and Lizzys weekend by Bob.

Saturday
Started well with (reliving Ocilympic glory) synchronized 4am Chris jumping then 4.12am pleading and bowl filling , then out the cat door and away . Magnificent "dawn chorus" to prove that we haven't yet eaten all that is feathery.
Morning tea then a snooze, padded chairs on deck work well on a sunny day . Woke up when water blasting started , went back to sleep, lunch , another sleep. Woke, moved to garage where Chris was painting , assisted with painting .
Dinner and bed.
Sunday
See jumping above .
Lizzy and I spent considerable time trying to get a stick through the cat door but we just couldn't . Will double check with tape measure . Chris found the mouse collection (fake) under a dresser and we spent some time re-hiding them. Got into a fight with the hall carpet.
Dinner etc

Somebody who didn't leave their name suggested i was getting tubby , well here is my weight chart for this year. As you can see I'm being well feed and have a personal goal of 50kg by 2010.  

Lizzy admits to assisting frog migration

Good evening
Bob here your Channel 9 Natural History reporter.

Well as suspected Lizzy has owned up to being the one who placed the frog in the bedroom and swears never to do it again, well not till Reena is back (hello mum we miss you) sorry don't know what came over me .

This is Bob signing off.

Bob explains the theory of Frog migration

Good afternoon , Bob here in my new natural history reporting role .

Today we will be taking to a green frog as it emerges from deep hibernation in the corner of the bedroom .

Tell me Mr Frog how did you come to choose the bedroom as a place to hibernation ?
"Croak croak , rabbit Lizzy rabbit rabbit croak"
I see.
Lizzy , the frog says you put him in the bedroom . It that true?
"a dirty reptilian lie" you say
What do you have to say to that Mr Frog ?
"Croak croak , rabbit Lizzy rabbit rabbit croak, rabbit pond rabbit"
Lizzy the frog says you removed him from the pond , dragged him backwards through the cat door and dumped him in a shoe in the bedroom.

We will continue this interview when I find Lizzy she seems to have "done a runner".

This is Bob for Channel Nine (Lives) Natural History.

Bob closes the Ocilympics

Good Enveing Bob here.

Wlel tahts if team, the end of the frist Ocilympics.

Wtih all tihs practice my dsylxeia is imvroping .

We hope you hvae all had fun . You'll ntoe taht we hvae not declared any winners , this has been the games for all ctas and just hveaing a go mkaes you a winenr , so pin on a mdeal and tkae a lap of vitcory .

This is Bob form Catnetwork news retinrung you to our regluar porgmars

PS Cats here having 10 minutes of silence for the Catsof New York .

Here we are at the closing ceremony sitting on the official flag with the flag we all want in the foreground.!! 

Here is a late runner for the climbing contest , Murphy the Albany Monster . Great action shot Murphy, we love the tail movement !!! 

Bob srtgugels on by hesrlef

Good enevnnig Bob here form Ctanerowk Nwes .

Wlel the lsat envet of the Olicpmyics is oevr . If you hevan't aarledy chceked it out hvae a look at http://ashtoncats.blogspot.com/ for a fnie emaxcple of how to rlaely wrcek sutff and a big thkoankyu to tehre web sruf for scuh a hgih level of parttapiciion in reropnitg all enevts.

My web sruf is sitll out there bgnaing nials in the dcek.

Wram up yuor pyrotechnics toromow we have the clisoing cnomerey

Tihs is Bob for Ctanerowk Nwes .

Bob geos it anole

In a sochk anuocnemt eye hvae deicded 2 do tihs web sihgt mi self bcesaue crihs was spnednig 2 mcuh tmie on biudlnig the dcek and not eoungh on hlepnig me but eye fnid taht smoe tmies eye hit 2 kyes at once and aslo eye am dsylxiec .

wlel we are dwon 2 the lsat envet of the oiclmpyics whcih is the finurture de-contscuriton and by the way it wsan’t me who scarhcted up the frnot of the atnqiue riado-garm .

We’ll pserent each cestontant wtih a room full of finurture and it nedes to be as wecrked as posislbe it the tmie alavaible. Adtiondial ponits for lokonig pathteic if caguht in the act and dobule ponits for blainmg it on “smoe otehr cat”

Tihs is Bob 4 ctswetnork nwes sniging off 4 wesdenday

Lizzy in the climbing event , note this tree (known here as a cabbage tree) has no lower limbs for Lizzy to bounce off only a direct plummet into the garden . Bob reporting